So I Write

It’s about 5:30am and I’m coming down (or going up? can’t really tell) from two days of not being able to get out out bed.  So the cycle starts again…no sleep, then too much sleep.  So, I write.  Not entirely sure what I’m going to write about right about now….So I write.  Recently I’ve decided to explore my spirituality, I need God in my life.  I need more of God in my life.  I’m not really sure how to get into a relationship with him.  So…I write.  The highs and lows are a bit too much for me this week.  I lost 2 days of my life that I will never get back to this demon we call Biplar 2. I’m hurt, angry and confused. So…I write.  Will I ever understand why I have been given this gift? I like to call it a gift. This living, breathing thing that some days sucks the life right out of me but other days fills me with unbounding energy and inspiration. I have no clue! So….I write.  This animal that lives inside of me has created a warm home nestled in my mind. Curled tentacles wrapping around my emotions.  Feeding on my ability to function. Using my body as its source. Will I ever be rid of it?? Who can answer this question?  I don’t know….So I write.